luni, 26 decembrie 2011

Cold-blooded

Have any of you listened to Foreigner’s song “Hot Blooded”? We are supposed to be hot-blooded creatures and, even more, about us, the Latinos, we’ve heard a lot of stories. According to these stories, we are supposed to be very charismatic, very passionate … in everything we do (but I have to admit that the passionate was more linked to the loving part). So, we are supposed to be hot-blooded-passionate people!
I am about to tell you something else about me. Part one was about me being a day-dreamer! Part two … I am cold blooded! I must be northern or something. I do have the Latino anger temper. You’d better stay away when I am angry – otherwise I’ll snap and … well, I never crossed this “and” but I have a strange feeling that nothing good is on the other side of it. So, I do inherit the gene of hot-temper Latino people. But when talking about love … I am Norwegian or Swedish or just cold-blooded.
It’s been long since I was suspecting myself of listening more of my brain rather than my heart. I had my doubts. I was hoping I could be swept away. But, it’s not the case. Apparently, in the light of recent events (lessons we all need to learn in life) I have no more doubts: I am cold-blooded. I wouldn’t go so far as extending the rational thing into all the domains of my life. But definitely in the feeling department – more specific in the loving department – I am rational. I’m proud of being rational … but sometimes I wonder how it would be like if my heart really spoke to me.
Sometimes, I wish I were swept away and feel the butterflies I hear so much about. Sometimes, I wonder if love can really be felt.
How many of you have heard me talking about love – true love? Not so many … because, love – true love – it’s not really my thing.
I am cold blooded! Or at least … I am cold blooded until proven otherwise!

duminică, 4 decembrie 2011

I am a daydreamer!

I want to set this straight, because I've noticed lately that people mistake me for someone else. I mean, I would've supposed that in my circle of friends it's already clear who am I. Well, apparently this article is necessary. So, here it is (~27 yrs late, but still!):

I am a daydreamer!!! Do not suppose that if I look at you, I am really listening to what you're saying. No hard feelings, but I might be in my own world the same moment. As soon as I've made up my mind regarding the real world, I decided that it was not good enough for me. I was always told that we build our world ... and so I did. I built my own!

So, whenever there are things, in this real world, that trouble me I decide to escape in this world of mine that (in my defense) is not perfect, but slightly better than this one.

Besides this parallel world, I have my own system of values, my own logic. You'd say it's not possible and that logic is logic. I don't really care about that. I don't care about some stupid rule saying logic is absolute. I have my own ... and so far it worked. I am hard to convince... exactly because I don't go after usual rules and usual logic.

Bottom line is I am happy with who I am. Or at least I try! In the end, I'll know I wasn't just another human being on this planet, another serial puppet. I was unique. And that might be enough...

Now ... I want to quote the famous Martin Luther King:

I HAVE A DREAM ...

marți, 29 noiembrie 2011

Betrayal

You know what's the most common synonym for betrayal? My personal guess is: you do. Even so, I will say it again: BACKSTABBING. And it's not me who says it ... wikipedia does it first.

So, what can you actually say about this, when the synonym is more than explicit? Betrayal...have you ever felt it? (because I honestly think this is not something you experience, it's something that you feel on your own skin). It's more like a knife in the back when you least expect it... or let me put it some other way. How many of us have experienced a stabbing in the back? Well ... it must be just like a BETRAYAL!!!

Why am I talking about this today? Cas I feel betrayed. Today, more than any other day, I feel like someone really stabbed me in the back. Does it make any sense? Maybe I have high expectations from the people around me. Maybe I should strop expecting anything from people around me. For me, that seems like really, really hard work. Not trusting, not expecting. I am that kind of a person that does trust and does expect.

And still ... with every knife I feel in my back I am one step away from drawing a line and giving EVERYBODY up. Lately everybody are hurrying to deposit their knives in a safe place, i.e. my back.

Betrayal hurts! Betrayal makes me ... concentrate on reading more books or just staying away from people.

I am one knife away from that!

sâmbătă, 19 noiembrie 2011

Purpose

Isn't this something that bothers us? I mean ... even if we're not thinking on a day-by-day regular basis about our purpose in life, i just have this feeling that the thought is there in the back of the head like a tooth pain that won't go away, until you decide to look for a specialist.

That's the same for me. A strange - permanent pain. Bearable, I must admit this, but annoying in the same time (or is it in the same amount?!) How do you figure this out? If you find the answer just let me know - cas I am still trying to get rid of my back of the head pain.

Talking with other people, reading, studying, watching the world around me ... I picked up some possible answers. But, from all the answers I picked up, some are like ridiculously repeating. For example, I am gonna choose two great personalities - each with their own answer.

First, Anthony Hopkins (and you might say it was a script, and he had to say that because he was playing in a movie - I will just pretend he wasn't!) with his memorable lines "there's not an ounce of excitement, not a whisper of a thrill. [...]But love is passion, obsession, someone you can't live without. Find someone you can love like crazy and who will love you the same way back. Cause the truth is, honey, there's no sense living your life without this. To make this journey and not fall deeply in love, well, you haven't lived a life at all."

He makes a very good case there! I mean, it makes me wonder if this is a purpose ... or the purpose. Just to be perfect, Einstein (and on this one I think everybody will agree with me - he's a genius) comes with something similar: "Strange is our situation here upon earth.l Each of us comes for a short visit, not knowing why, yet sometimes seeming to divine a purpose. From the standpoint of daily life, however, there is one thing we do know - the man is here for the sake of other men."

Now my question: Are we all here for the sake of someone else? I know that love comes in many shapes and colors - but is this our purpose in life? To find that one person we're here for?

I told you before - I have no answer to this question. I am still trying to figure my purpose out. I might get it one day. What I can tell you for sure is that ... I'm 100% sure that we all have a specific purpose. We need to figure it out. Sooner, better then later!

duminică, 13 noiembrie 2011

Conversation

When did the human kind lost the ability to have a smart conversation?

I mean I constantly find myself in the position of having meaningless - unimportant - uninteresting conversation. Is it me? Or it's just the society who has reduced our capability of smartly communicate? We are no longer interested in that ... we are no longer interested in information. We just waste time on small talk that lead to no where and have no impact on anything or anyone.

Am I making any sense? I mean, is it bad that I am craving for a smart conversation from time to time?

I just want to find someone who is interested in intelligent conversation ... and not interested in the stupid subjects that the television gives us - cas that's what we are doing.

Anyway ... I want to see people interested in more that fashion or latest gossip. I want people interested in books, or good music, or why not science.

I miss intelligent conversation ...

marți, 4 octombrie 2011

Addiction

Addiction comes in many shapes starting from the bad habits such as drugs, drinking, shopping for some, and going to the not that destructive ones like coffee, perfumes (this is one of my favorites) and even on a more psychological level ... the cry for attention. But isn't any addiction a cry for attention?

It is odd that I find myself facing another insomnia night. And I am starting to think that it is true what I said couple of months before: the guilty have no sweet dreams! It's not that I do or did any crimes. But who is to judge what is a crime or not?

Addiction is pretty much a crime since it comes with a guilty conscience and no sleep. I use to sleep perfectly good. No wakings up in the middle of the night remembering I didn't do something right before going to sleep. It is said that the first step to get rid of an addiction is recognizing you have a problem. In our society it is very hard to do that, when everybody else is all good, no problems - PLEASE!!! We are all addicted to something.
I, for one, I am CAMELIA and I am addicted ... to what? Well this is the hard question. To what? Cas all the things I am addicted to are like covering the true and open wound - the true addiction.

I feel like I don't really deserve all the good things happening to me. I am full of flaws and right now I don't really know where to start to fix myself up again.

Any ideas how to get rid of an addiction?

vineri, 30 septembrie 2011

Bleah ...

I cannot think for a better word than this: "BLEAH!!!" People make me sick. Not all, some people make me sick. Some people annoy me with their stupid attitude "I'm the king of the hill!" Some people just disappoint me.

I guess I will never learn. I guess I am made from a material that cannot learn that PEOPLE DO DISAPPOINT YOU on a regular basis. Actually, I wish I were able to not trust everybody.

It happened to me recently ... someone I considered a decent person and it turned to be a greedy person and just let me down on so many levels that I can't even thought it would be possible. I guess the only good thing with me is that, even though I trust easily, once someone has betrayed my trust, it is done!!!

I am just an angry person right now!

duminică, 25 septembrie 2011

Falling

I just wonder how come for some a fall is just a fall and nothing more - they stand up again and just walk further on like nothing happened, while for others a fall is like slipping on a toboggan and it just looks like they would never stop.

Well I guess we are different people with different tempers and personalities. There are these great people, with huge character and huge power, inspiring us with ever step they do. They seem to know exactly where to put their next step, even if they've never walked on that ground before. And then we just hear that they fell. For these kind of people the fall will always be a great one. Cas they are just not use to it. They are used to walk up on the mountains.

I was not use to the falling. I don't have the pretension of being a great person,I'm not. But I was used to get whatever I wanted, to fight for it if necessary. And from a while know I seem to have slipped and I am not able to stop and pick it up where I left it. I waiting to stop and take a deep breath, then stand up and walk further. I know it's not a process you get to make by yourself. But I have friends in high places!

luni, 19 septembrie 2011

Wind of change

Change, as I mentioned many, many times, is inevitable! We almost every day find ourselves in the position of making a change in our lives. Small changes like the shampoo we're using or the route we're taking to work or maybe the movie genre. Sometimes, the change in our lives implies a little more attention, a little more time, some more input from our side. And every once in a while change is gonna take us by surprise!

These are the changes we hate, these are the changes that we are afraid of. Because we are afraid of change. We feel conformable in our zone. We don't need any alterations of our usual-perfectly-boring lives. Change - this is what puts us back in the game and, willingly or not, makes us fight back.

So, every time we feel that the "weather" is way too calm ... for the season, do not worry! From the blue sky, all of the sudden, unexpected there will be a wind of change. You don't want it, you can't stop it. But in the end ... it could just bring a fresh perspective into our lives! So, just bring it on! Whatever is to come ... I am not scared, it's probably for the best!

luni, 29 august 2011

Insomnia 4

Şi pentru că mi se părea absurd să nu poţi dormi, oricum, oricunde. Voila!!! Insomnie din nou!
Am un obicei. E unul din obiceiurile vechi pe care nu insist sa-l schimb (am altele care ar putea urca în cap de listă): când sunt pe stradă obişnuiesc să studiez oamenii pe lângă care trec. Dintr-o singură privire poţi primi o lecţie de viaţă.
Vreau să vă "arat" şi vouă două din imaginile ce îmi vor rămâne mereu întipărite în minte:

1. Dimineaţa, prea devreme pentru mine, zăpadă mare, frig. Un 46B prea aglomerat şi eu lipită de geam. Exact locul meu preferat. Urcând Calea Turzii trecem pe lângă cimitir. La unul din morminte, un bătrân de mână cu un copil! Efectiv am rămas fără cuvinte - mintea mea nu putea procesa informaţiile primite din exterior. Era nici 8 dimineaţa, un frig de crăpau şi pietrele. Ce căuta acolo un bătrân cu un copil?
Nu ştiu. Dar mi-am spus că trebuie să fi fost o persoană tare specială ...

2. În drum spre muncă, din nou un troleu mai plin decât mi-ar fi plăcut mie. La o trecere de pietoni un bătrânel sprinten traversa de zor. La un moment dat s-a oprit şi s-a întors. În spatele lui agale, venea o bătrânică. Bătrânelul s-a apropiat de ea şi a luat-o de mână. Împreună, în pas de plimbare, au traversat strada (spre enervarea şoferilor din trafic!!!) Pentru ei ... nu mai era nicio grabă!
Inevitabil mă gândesc că lumea ar fi un loc mult mai bun dacă fiecare am avea pe cineva care să ne ia de mână când ne e greu!

Sunt convinsă că mulţi aţi surprins asemenea imagini. Înţelept ar fi să tragem o învăţătură şi să mergem mai departe! O noapte bună vă doresc!

miercuri, 24 august 2011

Usual - Dreams

We live our day by day life trying to keep out all the unexpected. We make plans, we write down schedules, we keep an eye on the clock. Up in the morning same time, quick ride to the office, end of the day ... maybe a movie or a chat with a friend. That's it!
What happened to all the dreams as kids? What happened to flying to the moon, or becoming a famous doctor/lawyer/actor/writer? What happened to your "TO DO LIST"? I remember when I was in college (and I know this sounds veeeeeeeeery old - so I might just as well change it to "few years ago") me and the girls I was living with had a TO DO LIST stuck on the fridge. Just stuff like: going to the theater, visiting some city we've never been to, attending a lawsuit, dressing like Arabic women and others. But this list remind us every day that we need to do something exciting with our lives.
Youth is said to be daring. We should always have a TO DO LIST out of the ordinary. We cannot live our lives just like usual!
Life it's pretty extraordinary.
Unfortunately, my TO DO LIST of today is: GET HOME, GO TO BED! - sad, I know. But I still have dreams. I still think I can read all the books I want, listen to all the music I gathered in my computer, take all the walks (although I am not a walking-kind of a person), visit all those places ... I still hope I can do something amazing with my life.
I guess I didn't put down on paper all my dreams ... because once on a TO DO LIST I would have to push myself further on to fulfill my dreams. And what if I don't make it? What if I betray my dream and let myself down? :)

I used to be optimistic. I used to think that I can do whatever I wanted! I might just as well write down that TO DO LIST and every day I see it I will remember that LIFE IS EXTRAORDINARY and you can only live once!

And on another hand, AMAZING things are ready to happen to whoever dares and steps outside the comfort line!

sâmbătă, 23 iulie 2011

Ephemeral or Eternal?

Well I had to learn a tough lesson. I had to learn it for some time and all the signs were there, but it seemed easier to take the highway! Truth is people are the value. We are stubborn and we keep on gathering stuff that "make us happy" or maybe that are useful or maybe we just have a "hobby". We pay a lot to buy all these. We are ready to invest in an apartment, in a car, in a 2-week vacation to some end of the world place, in books or shoes or clothes or anything that is so material and ephemeral.

I kept planning to post our New Years resolutions. When stepping into this new year 2011, me and the friends gathered had some thoughts for this new beginning. And they were all so powerful and so of God... but one of them made me think a lot. My friend said that she was planing to put an etiquette with "EPHEMERAL" for all those material-non-important things and another etiquette with "ETERNAL" on humans. That was a brilliant plan. And I am so sure that if we had done that so far our life would've been a little happier, no remorse.

I, on the other hand, got caught in this race for wealth and material gains. I lost track of the humans near me. I forgot to be kind, and nice, and thoughtful. I became more and more bitter and unfriendly. I was told that bitterness keeps people away - somehow like a bad smell. The thing is we lose people. Sometimes we lose them with no possibility to get them back. What we had done by that point will remain. Nothing else matters. Of all people, I can say that humans are not trustworthy, but we need to do our best, we need to build bridges where there are none. Otherwise we're just gonna be alone and all the material things we gather so greedy would not make us happier.

We are so human, so proudling assuming that we're gonna live forever. The problem is that we are right. We ARE gonna live forever... but not the way we are imagining it.

miercuri, 13 iulie 2011

La multi ani, mami!

Adevărul e că a trecut ceva timp de când nu am mai aşternut pe "hârtie" gândurile, impresiile, luptele, frustrările ... dar AZI e diferit! AZI nu e o zi ca oricare alta. Pentru unii e zi cu ghinion. Pentru alţii e doar o altă zi. Pentru cei care muncesc e miercuri - o zi ce marchează mijlocul săptămânii (sau încă două zile până la weekend).

Pentru mine şi ai mei azi e 13 IULIE ... ziua mamei mele. Cum aş putea să nu scriu? Când cele mai bune lucruri în viaţă mi s-au întâmplat datorită ei?

Mami, nu o să pot să îţi exprim vreodată în cuvinte ce însemni pentru mine. Şi azi, de ziua ta, mă rog ca Dumnezeu să îţi dăruiască tot ce crede El mai bun!

Îţi doresc o viaţă plină de bucurii! TE IUBESC!

vineri, 3 iunie 2011

Old-fashioned-open-minded

One of these last days, when listening to one of the Andre Rieu's concerts, I surprised myself enjoying it a little too much. I am in my 20's and looking to what people in their 20's listen ... I found myself out of place. I hate the music playing today, and it feels like there are not many thinking like I do.

I enjoy a lot a good book and classical music and I do prefer reading the book rather than seeing the movie. It's old-fashioned, I know! But I think that there are more possibilities of "having fun" when you're old-fashioned! I also know that everyone around you will laugh at you and maybe they'll say you are crazy, but your "moment of happiness" will not last until you get sober. It's the kind of happiness that makes you feel good about yourself and pushes you to go further when you think you've touched your limits!

When we were kids, or even adolescents, we were told very often that after some time we won't care if the others like us or not, we won't try so hard to be someone we aren't. And it is true! During the high school, even if we didn't have the American style high school, we did have the popular, the beauty, the nerds, the cool, the dangerous etc. Maybe we tried hard to be someone we weren't, or maybe we've done things we are not proud of just to please one group of the other ... but by the end of high school we were all on our own!

We're not in high school anymore! It's no shame to admit you like reading or that you like classical music ...or that you play chess! Because the standards you are up against now are so much different then those in high school!

So, what? I am old-fashioned in a very, very up to speed age! Who says I'm not open-minded as well?

duminică, 1 mai 2011

Eu

Îmi place: să citesc, să merg la teatru şi la operă, iarna, să merg la patine, să mă plimb în zăpadă, să ascult muzică, culoarea verde, Argentina, Egipt, China, Rusia, arhitectura veche, geografia, jucăriile de pluş, tot ce ţine de al doilea război mondial, povestea ţarului Nicolae al II lea, Heroes, patinajul artisic, fotbalul, mongolian beef, blugii, suedeza, franceza şi limbile orientale, pianul şi vioara, Coca-Cola, genţile mari cu multe buzunare, să dorm, să notez citatele care mă impresionează, să râd, să studiez despre bolile mintale, 24, dexter, să mă uit la filme, poezia (în special George Coşbuc), sinceritatea şi corectitudinea, punctualitatea, adevărul, dreptatea, pacea, marea, peisajele pitoreşti, să mă întâlnesc cu rudele şi prietenii mei, să îmi decorez locuinţa cum vreau eu, să pierd vremea, laptopul meu, pătuţul meu cu etaj din copilărie (care nu mai există ), pătura de treabă, ciocolata, să fac baie cu spume, Dove, Ralph Lauren, Brad Pitt (ursuleţul meu primit cadou de la colegele de apartament), să fiu veselă, GAP, noaptea şi dimineaţa, Crăciunul şi Anul Nou, părul negru, mobila artistică, să scriu, conopida murată, Tommy Hilfiger, maşinile de teren, cănuţa mea cu Merry Christmas, Pigeon, Law School ...
... and this is only the beginning!

marți, 29 martie 2011

Colour ...

We talk about colour and normally colour is what gives another view to our world. We really need to admit that black&white wouldn’t have made such a great combination when talking about world! But (and here comes the first big BUT of this story), colour is what makes the differences. I did not say the difference, but the differences! We got to look to the colour of our skin, to the colour of our money, to the colour of our intellect, to the colour of our political views. The greatest barrier ever was created by colours!

For centuries people have tried to push or even eliminate these differences given by our colour. Still we are marked forever by our colour. As hard as we try, we are always white or black, poor or rich, smart or less equipped, republican, democrat or any other political view. This entire society is ruled by the colours.

But (this is my second BUT of the story), even worst then letting ourselves driven by colours in this society is that we let colours drive us inside the Church. Church is supposed to be the Body of Jesus Christ. Church is supposed to be neutral, same for everyone regardless the colour of the skin, the political view, the height on the social ladder. We are all equals in front of the throne of Jesus...

This is how it should be, and for our parents and grandparents life was like this. For us, things have changed just a little bit. We live those days when we think we can buy our place in the church. We think that our political or social status can help us – when speaking about the salvation of our soul. I hate that we got to this! I hate that we cannot be simple and transparent. I hate that we got to fight over the colour of our Jesus.

Let me remember you: Jesus was neither white, nor black, neither rich, nor poor, neither republican, nor democrat ... He was, He is, He will always be the only way to be saved! We can stay and fight, we can try to buy the comfortable seat, we can pretend we are holy, we can walk as we were saints... but all this is nothing if we do not forget about colours and just let Jesus see Himself in our lives!

Jesus has no colour!

http://tineripentruhristos.blogspot.com/p/english.html

joi, 24 februarie 2011

Poveşti ...

Am crescut crezând în basme.
Am crescut crezând în bine şi rău ... dar mai ales că în final, după multe probe, binele învinge. Prea puţine erau poveştile în care ieşea biruitor răul. Am crezut.

Am crezut de-asemenea că deşi apar obstacole în drum totdeauna eroul principal găseşte ajutor (asta datorită bunătăţii şi curajului său) şi reuşeşte să treacă peste orice. În final, eroul principal învaţă câte o lecţie din fiecare piedică, luptă şi găseşte iubirea adevărată....şi

TRĂIESC FERICIŢI PÂNĂ LA ADÂNCI BĂTRÂNEŢI!

Toate poveştile copilăriei au fost la fel. Micile diferenţe nu schimbau cu nimic cursul de bază al poveştii. Că era zmeu, sau balaur, sau lup flămând ... sau poate Ileana Cosânzeana, Găinăreasca, Scufiţa Roşie, Frumoasa din pădurea adormită ... în final povestea mea se termina la fel.

Crescând am învăţat că lumea reală e diferită de cea din poveştile mele! Eroul principal nu e nici pe departe atât de bine echipat, ajutorul nu vine totdeauna la fix, probele sunt (unele!) cu mult mai grele decât s-ar fi aşteptat... Făt-Frumos şi Ileana Cosânzeana nu există! Cât despre "fericiţi până la adânci bătrâneţi" e aproape o ironie când moartea seceră în stânga şi dreapta indiferent de vârstă!

De cele mai multe ori eşti pe cont propriu. De cele mai multe ori singurul ajutor ce-ţi vine nu e nicidecum din partea oamenilor. De cele mai multe ori cei de lângă tine sunt fie la fel de neputincioşi ca tine, fie ... sunt cei care aşteaptă să cazi pentru a trage un folos din căderea ta.

Când se întâmplă toate acestea nu ai cum să nu te opreşti din alergarea ta şi să nu te întrebi ce-i cu toate aceste poveşti care ne-au hrănit pe noi copii fiind? Poveştile care ne-au inoculat ideea fericirii până la adânci bătrâneţi... când nu suntem siguri nici măcar pe momentul imediat următor.

Aş vrea să termin într-o notă optimistă. Aş vrea atât de mult să spun că răul nu poate dăinui veşnic şi că odată şi-odată se va termina cu răul... Aş vrea să spun toate astea, dar ...

Dar de ce nu? ODATĂ ŞI-ODATĂ SE VA SFÂRŞI CU RĂUL, ÎN FINAL BINELE BIRUIE!

ÎNTOTDEAUNA!

marți, 22 februarie 2011

wishful thinking ...

And I am back at wishful thinking. I have to admit ... all dark&twisted is taking lot of energy and I am running out. I just decided that maybe it could be helpful for a while to go with wishful thinking.

I am no good at that. No good at all! Actually I don't really know how to get started. All I know is that I need to look forward and hope for the best. It could happen! Good things could happen if you want them bad enough, isn't it?

Even if they don't happen - the good things - I try to make myself believe that wishful thinking could be a great medicine.

Medicine ... that's only if you're sick!

miercuri, 2 februarie 2011

Weakness

I don't like when people talk about my weaknesses. I don't like when I am asked about my weaknesses. We've all been there, the moment when the employer-to-be asked about the greatest weakness. We avoided the answer ... we tried to be funny by saying we have no weakness - the truth is talking about our weakness is a weakness itself.

We all have weaknesses. Some call them the Achilles' heel, some say they might have a blind spot... but the bottom line is that we're full of weak points. We try to hide them. We try to forget about them (not the brightest idea, but still I try to do that myself). Sometimes we imagine that if we don't talk about them or if we don't try to correct them they will disappear ... just like that!

Admitting we have weaknesses is the first step ahead. Taking care of our weakness is maybe the second. There's only one thing I know for sure: one weak heel was enough to kill Achilles!

miercuri, 26 ianuarie 2011

Dusk

Did it ever happen to you to wake up in the morning and decide that you are gonna have a wonderful day, that you are not gonna let anyone or anything ruin that day for you - that you are gonna be just "bright and shinny"? And the minute you got out through the door the "bright and shinny" plan was no longer possible?

Well...I was to be bright and shinny and positive and good and full of compassion and instead I am all dark and twisted and selfish and tired. Especially tired!

I do believe that there are bigger problems than mine. I do believe that there are people who suffer ... I do believe all that.

But today ... I am just not that person anymore!

sâmbătă, 22 ianuarie 2011

Decisions

Remember when we were kids and we hated when our parents told us what to do? "You need to go to school." "You have to clean your room." "It is compulsory to do all your homework." so on so forth.

Remember what we were all thinking that precise moment?

"When I am older..." and our imagination had no limits. We thought that when we are older we can do whatever it pleased us. We could stay in bed all day long eating candies and watching cartoons or maybe stay outside with friends and play. Yeah... that is what we are gonna do! We won't care about all the advice the other grown-ups give us. We will DECIDE for ourselves!

And now, older being, we hate taking decisions. At least I do. Each and every time I need to take a decision I wish I were a kid and my dad told me what to do. But unfortunately there is no way I could leave a door open to blame someone else for my misfortunes. Being older sucks! We don't get to stay in bed all day 'cas we have work, we don't get to eat candies all the time 'cas we need to be careful with our health, we don't get to play with dolls and cars 'cas, well, it's stupid and so not suitable for a grown-up (at least that's what the wise men of our society tell us).

But what if ... ? What if we were kids again? What if someone else took the decisions for us? Would that make us happier? Wiser? Or just ... cowards? Growing up is hard. I've heard about it and still trying to figure it out. It definitely comes with lot of unexpected responsibilities, lot of unforeseen situations - in which, we want it or not, we need to take our own decisions!

Good or bad - that's up to us! We will need to take some chances! We will need to evaluate and DECIDE - in or out? Growing up - there is no place for WHAT IF...!

miercuri, 5 ianuarie 2011

Făgăduinţi

Am trecut din nou pragul unui an. Nu ştim dacă e pentru ultima dată sau vom avea şi alte ocazii. Un lucru e sigur, trebuie să dăm tot ce avem mai bun în anul acesta. Majoritatea ne-am făcut procesul de conştiinţă, ne-am analizat trăirea din anul trecut, am luat hotărâri pentru noul an, am făcut promisiuni şi am păşit încrezători pe calea cea nouă.

Cât va dura însă până când vom uita toate acestea? îmi amintesc de mine în urmă cu un an. Eram atât de mulţumitoare că am o nouă şansă să fac lucrurile bine şi am făcut atâtea promisiuni că nu mă voi abate de la noile hotărâri ... dar a durat puţin şi când viaţa mea a intrat pe o ruta normală am uitat tot ce am decis "să ..." şi "să nu...".

Ce nu ţinem cont este că intrăm într-un an nou cu noi cei vechi. Luăm decizii, facem promisiuni şi în final rămânem dezamăgiţi pentru că aşteptările noatre au fost înşelate.

Ce îmi doresc pentru mine în anul acesta este să privesc realist la ceea ce pot face cu viaţa mea. Nu vreau să nu mai visez. Nu vreau să nu mai fiu o persoana optimistă. Dar vreau să fac mai degrabă paşi mici înainte decât să bat pasul pe loc. Dacă e să învăţ din încercări şi necazuri - atunci să nu fie nevoie să mi se predea lecţia de două ori. Dacă e să mă bucur alături de prieteni şi familie - să mă bucur cu toata inima. Dacă e să pierd lucruri nefolositoare pentru a obţine ceva mult mai bun - să nu regret nimic. Dacă e să fiu un umăr sau o mână de ajutor pentru cineva în nevoie - să fiu fără să pun prea multe întrebări. Dacă e să vorbesc - să vorbesc lucruri care să zidească.

Să dau la o parte tot ce încurcă. Să învăţ să aştept şi să am răbdare. Să lupt să fiu mai bun. Să fac ce am de făcut cu o inimă şi cu o minte deschisă. Să vreau să cresc în toate domeniile din viaţa mea. Să vreau să fiu o binecuvântare pentru cei din jurul meu. În felul acesta finalul anului 2011 nu mă va surprinde cu lecţii neînvăţate sau lucruri neămplinite.

Cu siguranţă nu voi putea singură, dar ştiu pe Cineva care e de partea mea!

Pentru 2011 aş vrea să fiu omul potrivit la locul potrivit! La fel vă doresc şi vouă!