End

I don't know for your guys what END means but for me definitely it's something terminal: nothing else afterwards. However, in my mind this "END" has a sense of completeness. I mean something cannot come to an end unless it's complete!!! This being said I get to the point where I talk about this specific end. We are getting so close to the end of the year and let me tell you this is by far uncompleted! Things left undone, unsaid, unattended, unloved, un-patient, unbelieved! I know for sure that so many things are still pending and waiting in the air for me to make a decision. And for some reason or another I kept postponing, always thinking that what better day than tomorrow to make that decision?! The problem with the end of the year is that it's not really an END. The next day we can still put our mind to mend the things left out in the open. We can still pick up the phone and have the talk we were afraid to have the year before. We can still love, we can still learn to be patient and to build our trust. We can still choose to have faith. We can ... and we are so happy with this, knowing that "tomorrow is another day". This over here is what makes us in the first place postpone things. This particular thought is, I dare say, one of our worse enemies. Because of it we do not do things when they are meant to be done. Forgetting that WE ARE NOT OWNERS OF TOMORROW! All we have is today and now ... True, time will continue to flow after I am gone. Tomorrow will exist without me. But then again ... what about all the things I was supposed to do and didn't? All the people I was supposed to touch and didn't? All the love I was supposed to offer and didn't? Unfortunately, for some it's already too late. For some. I can still do things today. Do I chose to postpone again? Or do I just pick myself up and do the work I am expected to do. Because, my dear friends, we are all EXPECTED to do something. I refuse to believe that my existence is meaningless. It's better not to wait for the end. In life THE END is not always completed, however there is something AFTERWARDS!

"I'm tired" - is never a good excuse

Right now I am just tired. People tell me I am way to young to be tired. But I am. TIRED to fight with the windmills. TIRED to wait for people show gratitude. TIRED to hope for a change. TIRED to wish for a better world/society. TIRED to feel alone. TIRED to be betrayed over and over again by people I consider FRIENDS. TIRED to have my expectations dismissed. TIRED to be told that my values and standards are much too high for this world. TIRED to look for a smart conversation and not find it (it's happening too often nowadays!) TIRED to explain myself for every decision I make. TIRED to wait for love to show up. Just too TIRED. But You know what?! Even though this seems to be the attitude of a person who has given up on ... well, everything, I didn't. Given up, i.e. I just acknowledge I am very very tired and instead of giving up I just need to rest and refill my batteries. I need to find strength again to do what I know I was made up for: FIGHT! Because, you know what? I know for sure that: I don't FIGHT in vain! That there are people who do show their gratitude - and they are much worth WAITING for! Change is right around the corner. HOPE is one of the things that help you keep going! WISHING for a better world/society is what motivates you to "be the change you wanna see in the world" (amazing words Mr. Mahatma Ghandi)! I am never alone!!! There is always SOMEONE walking right by my side! FRIENDS are worth having! Life is so much more beautiful because of them! The expectations I have in life are those who put direction! Even though my values and my standards are too high I will always find people to gather around who share my point of view in this world! Sometimes I don't even need to LOOK FOR someone to have a smart conversation. Because I know that I just need to pick up my phone for it! Even though it is humanly to make bad decisions, the decisions I make (at least lately) are countersigned by SOMEONE who knows best. and LOVE ... well, in this field, I just don't want to loose HOPE. Knowing that this is something that is going to change my life. I'm just saying ... being tired is never a good excuse. It's barely an excuse!

Imperfection is the new perfection!

I almost admire the people who are not afraid to do something even if it's not perfect. And why? Because, in my opinion, those people manage to live more. They know life in other ways than those who, afraid of mistake or imperfection, decide to uphold ... however ... we were told way too often that "nothing or nobody is perfect" that we have stopped. We don't look for perfection anymore. We find excuses for our mistakes and imperfections. We hide behind this saying not trying to prove it wrong anymore. It is sad this, because the idea of perfection is in itself perfect! No error, no flaw ... just awesomeness and beauty and genius. I seldom think it's hard to balance these two ideas: on one hand, never stop to perfect oneself, on the other hand knowing when to seize the moment and not hope for perfection. I guess it's a process. To know what is what and how to identify those moments, one from the other. It is surprisingly how human nature is so set up to look for it. If we ask ourselves why, we might not have a clear answer. Because one thing that I know for sure is that perfection is not related to happiness. I mean, perfection is not a condition for happiness. I can be happy just as well imperfect. I don't need perfection ... but if I were perfect, would I be happier? I am afraid we seldom run after ghosts and we forget to live our lives, just as they are ... enjoying the people in it, enjoying the small pleasure, living fully. My dear friends ... today the IMPERFECTION is the new perfection!

Quiet, peace, love... glimpses of happiness... taste of freedom

We are often told that we only appreciate things after we have lost them. I heard this a lot! But lately I feel like I don't want to keep losing things in order to find out how important they were. And I find it very difficult sorting out everything in my life. I want to appreciate everything in my life as it comes. I want to love the people in my life and I want them to know it. I want to be happy, I want to enjoy the quiet and the moments of peace. I want to appreciate the moments of less happiness and to see them as lessons... Life is so much more than worrying. And I don't want to lose any more minutes doing that. I know I sound very ambitious and that with my temper it is such a challenge. However, exactly with my temper and exactly because it is such a challenge the result would be so much worth it! Bottom line is that with the moments of peace, the love and all the sweet moments we manage to catch these glimpses of happiness. This is the true freedom! Although others try to convince us otherwise. And all these ... I learnt them in a period of troubled heart, sitting and admiring the blue blue ocean. You know that sometimes a day connecting with the nature it's all we need to realize that the One who has created it all, has everything in control?! Be still my soul...

Hope

Hmmm ... I think people nowadays have no more hope. Not even for themselves. We are just hopeless human beings trying to live our lives toward a mediocre line. We no longer dream big, we no longer fight for what we believe to be true or worthy or just our opinions. We have given up to our armor and we go with the flow. Like robots with no feelings, no emotions, no will, no power. I feel myself caught up in this no-life-life. And couple of the reasons why is that I forgot, or maybe never truly knew, how to live. Pursuit of happiness is something that doesn't interest us anymore. We are sick and tired to be sick and tired all the time, but we lack the power to do anything to change this. So at night we go to sleep only to wake up in the morning to take the same routine as the day before. And all this because we lost all hope. Despite what we are told that hope dies last, in our lives hope was lost first. HOWEVER, I want to believe that not all is lost and I wish to make the best to change my circumstances in order for me to be happy. It might take work. But if I want to open a book club, who is to tell me I can't do that? Or if I am to start an impossible relationship, who is to tell me I cannot succeed and transform it into best decision of my life? Or ... any other "small" or "big" wish/dream I might have. Who is to tell me that I have to accept what society gives me and that's it? I learnt that if you wanna have something you need to get it yourself because nobody is gonna bring it to you on a silver plate. So, I wanna have hope! Because if I lose this too ... then what good is it? Hope and Faith ... I decide I wanna keep these two. Oh, and LOVE too!

Risks

I have a rule when talking about decisions. It's not a rule I invented. Actually the simple principle I try to keep is nicely presented in this Joyce Brothers' quote: "Accept that all of us can be hurt, that all of us can and surely will at times fail. Other vulnerabilities, like being embarrassed or risking love, can be terrifying too. I think we should follow a simple rule: if we can take the worst, take the risk." So, each time I need to make a decision I analyze if I can take the worst and if I can and if the best that might come is worth risking the worst then ... I might just do that! Cas nothing is worse than looking back and regret something you didn't do. Another very nice and true quote is what Mark Twain said: "Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do." I think the choice is between risking or regretting not risking. I don't know what to tell you. I can't tell anyone what to do or not do. I just know what I want to do and it's simple. Life is so short to not do things. I don't want you to think that I suggest throwing ourselves off from a cliff without a very resistant rope around us ... but sometimes we might wanna take the chances cas the outcome is so much worth it! In the end I am used to the bitter taste of regret and I would like to try a different flavor and I think you sleep better at night knowing that YOU did everything you could.

Sharing

... or the power of sharing. I arrived to a conclusion. I must admit it took me a great deal to get to this conclusion but finally I have and now I will share it with you. So, here it goes: for a very long period of time I thought that people around us should repay us with the same coin we are paying them (talking about the positive side of things this time). WRONG! People around us DO NOT OWE us anything. If we chose to do something (and by something I mean anything coming from our own initiative, such as help, smile, support, advice so on so forth) we shouldn't expect anything in return. Confession: I thought that if I am nice to people and if I offer to help or anything of this kind, people OUGHT TO do the same. Well, you can all imagine my surprise when that didn't happen. Even more ... sometimes people were really repaying me with bad deeds (if we can call them like that). After the "surprise"-shock came frustration, and then anger and then hating people. Just from the simple fact that I alone expected something that had no warranties! Finally I decided to cut people off ... because people are not worth keeping around if they do not treat me the way I was treating them. WRONG AGAIN! The tragic result of this action was me being completely alone. But then I remembered I had friends, people who really appreciate the quality of our relationship. People who told me how much they count on our bound and people who were happy about our honesty. Looking at those people made me reconsider my criteria of choosing people around me. And then I arrived to the present conclusion: the minute I was ready to share my thoughts, my support, my knowledge with those around me I discovered that all negativity disappears ... One small thing tho ... I cannot help myself feeling some regret. Regret that some of those people do not appreciate the honesty in our relationship and in that case ... well I might just apply the same ol' solution! Maybe you can work something out! But sometimes, just sometimes, people do not really change!

Giving up

We are taught to never give up. We are taught that we need to stand up for our opinions, values, standards, feelings. And partly this is so true. I have always appreciated those people who do not budge, but there are situations when the smartest move one can make is to give up. There are times when nothing good can come out of a situation and the best decision to make is to step out. Admittedly, it asks for courage. Because sometimes the situations are so complex, or maybe we spent so much time, energy and emotions that giving up would almost mean giving up to a part of ourselves. What we need to understand is that we are not defined by those situations or by those relationships or by those people. We decide what defines us and what doesn't. So, if in the light of a new perspective, we come to the conclusion something isn't going to the expected outcome ... nor it can be obtained otherwise, I truly believe it's high time to let it go. When I write these lines I do have in mind a situation and it hurts to even think I might need to let it go. But somehow I trust this is the best decision. At this point there is no better option since the relationship cannot continue as it is going now and any other option ... well there are no really other options. I am mortified ... but soon I really won't have a choice. All I know right now it's that I am so used to this situation/relationship that I will sure miss it!

Issues

1. So, besides the tremendous amount of insecurities the humans populating this blue Planet have, the biggest of all is relied to trusting or not the others. It is a subject I have seldom talked about and it is indeed a very important aspect of our lives, since we are not islands - as some great mind has said - but we are all connected in one way of another. It is very hard to trust somebody and, like a coin, this can go both ways ... it is very hard to be trustworthy. Seldom I think about why people like to talk about other people's lives. How is that much more interesting than any other subject? why the need to dig? Beats me!! 2. I hate this winter-not-winter winter! I am a cold-person, I love the snow and I am all depressed starting spring to autumn. Winter is the only season cheering me up, and this year it missed the call! So, do not be surprised of my cranky behavior! It's all winter's fault! 3. Spine - I love people who have it !I despise people who don't! Simple as that! ... and in the end it's all about perception

Fate

As we walk into this new year we cannot but ask ourselves what does the future keep for us? We call it fate, or destiny, or hazard ... truth to be told we all have expectations from 2014. Some say that as less expectation you have, as less hurt or disappointed you will be when those expectations aren't met. I'd rather believe different: point the sun ... if not reached at least you'll hit a star. I believe in big dreams and huge plans and great wishes. I believe we can all fight to accomplish the things we dream for. Of course, it's not simple. It was never supposed to be simple. It takes a lot of work, and discipline and effort and time ... but in the end it's all worth it. At least that is what I think! Beyond all these I do strongly believe that the most important thing one needs to accomplish what he dreams of is to have the right HELP. And if the dream is really the path you are supposed to walk in life, it would be such a shame not to follow it. But before engaging in this trip to accomplish the dream ... I would analyse whether THIS particular dream would bring me closer to my true self or not. If the dream can take me one step closer to what God made me for. I discovered a new song today ... I am just like an arrow heading straight for a destiny and no one and nothing can take that away from me, it's something that defies what the eye can see! And it's true! Bottom line is that I am just like a sailor heading out to uncharted seas!