You know, the mentally ill ones! The society throws a dark shadow on them. People avoid them. People look down on them. Some people, whatsoever, show interest. I belong to this last category ... I am curious and interested in their story.
And now I am being sympathetic!!!
Why NOW? What does this "now" mean? Well let me just put it some other way. The mentally ill ones have their own perfect world to get to. They don't have to deal with the stupidity the human race gathers every single day. I almost envy them ... I don't want to tempt faith. I can imagine the implication of being mentally ill. I can only imagine the great deal of good things they are missing. And the sad part is I used the word "things". Not people, not relationships or emotions.
They miss on the music, and the beautiful classic books, the sunrise or sunset, the top of the mountain after a difficult climb, the hot chocolate on a very cold winter evening, the warm socks, the comforting feeling after you've done your job. And I could go on and on.
So, I do appreciate my psychotic break along with my sanity moments. Mostly because mine, both of them, come with very good friends and very supportive family.
Lately I fell in love with this very cute Edgar Allan Poe quote: "I have become insane with long intervals of horrible sanity." And I am talking about a psychotic break? Well who is to say what is real and what is imaginative?
Who is to say what is sanity or psychotic break?
p.s. For those of you who will go on interpreting this article published on the 14th of February: YOU ARE SO WRONG!!!
marți, 14 februarie 2012
sâmbătă, 4 februarie 2012
Salvation
Did it ever happen to you? That sad feeling that you have to give up something you really, really care about? As much as you try you get to same conclusion: for sure you need to cut it from your life.
I feel like a doctor, in a very plastic way said, trying to figure out another way, trying to figure out a solution to save a leg, a hand. You know that the hand, the leg you're about to cut off are important. It's not like saying ... "o well, it will grow back!" The decision to amputate is difficult and sometimes it needs to be processed under pressure.
I am under pressure and I most definitely need to make up my mind: "CUT or DO NOT CUT?" The decision is even harder since you know that not cutting, when you're suppose to cut, could endanger your own life. It's not as simple as: "Can I make without it?" It can get to the eternal question (which is not mine in the first place - people have said it before me): "To be or not to be?"
So, in the end ... I am trying to find a solution which can save my life and safe my "something that I care about" as well.
But - and I always say there's a but in every story - if my solution doesn't really work, and if it doesn't get any better I must mentally prepare myself to let go. It would be a tough decision to take and it will hurt alot, but it's gonna be for the best.
Until then, finger crossed ... or wait - I don't believe in stuff like that. Huh, then let's just pray that the solution will work ... and SALVATION will come!
I feel like a doctor, in a very plastic way said, trying to figure out another way, trying to figure out a solution to save a leg, a hand. You know that the hand, the leg you're about to cut off are important. It's not like saying ... "o well, it will grow back!" The decision to amputate is difficult and sometimes it needs to be processed under pressure.
I am under pressure and I most definitely need to make up my mind: "CUT or DO NOT CUT?" The decision is even harder since you know that not cutting, when you're suppose to cut, could endanger your own life. It's not as simple as: "Can I make without it?" It can get to the eternal question (which is not mine in the first place - people have said it before me): "To be or not to be?"
So, in the end ... I am trying to find a solution which can save my life and safe my "something that I care about" as well.
But - and I always say there's a but in every story - if my solution doesn't really work, and if it doesn't get any better I must mentally prepare myself to let go. It would be a tough decision to take and it will hurt alot, but it's gonna be for the best.
Until then, finger crossed ... or wait - I don't believe in stuff like that. Huh, then let's just pray that the solution will work ... and SALVATION will come!
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