Insomnia 2

One of those nights, again! I cannot sleep and (with the risk of repeating myself) it is very annoying. Today, actually yesterday, was 2nd of December, the next day after Romania's national day. And it went accordingly: went to the office and "freeze". It is not that I am a patriotic - I'm not! I wish I were, but I'm not... and 1st of December was just another day, except I spent it with friends! (New friends are some time like a breath of fresh air. They can really make you keep going. Still trying to figure this part out)

Insomnia makes me go crazy and incoherent! So, at work, as much as I tried to concentrate I just couldn't so I got home with a terrible headache. How can you treat (or not) a headache? Exactly, First part of the last Harry Potter movies! And so I went, with friends, trying so hard to completely understand. I was told that the last part should be definitely better than this one. I am no movie critic (I've seen worst, I've seen better).

But I arrived home finding myself face to face with insomnia. And I hate insomnia nights because I always try to rationalize with stuff going in my life - trust me this is not the best moment to take great decisions. And still: how did I arrive here? How come I've become an insomnia client? What is exactly the thing that keeps me from sleeping? It is said that only the guilty have no sleep. It might just as well be that! I might be guilty. But of what? From the top of my mind I could breathlessly name a few. Should this bring any clarity? Sin does make you sorrow. I just wanna enjoy a good night's sleep. I wanna be free ...

And you do make me feel free and happy. You make me want to get rid of all the skeletons in my closet and just walk as a free person. I like myself when I am happy - I am a better person since you...

But could this last? Could this be true? Or, it is not insomnia at all - it's just me dreaming for a life I could never have?!