"..."

I almost never know how to relate to other people. It is not that I am an unsociable person. I am not! But, nowadays, it seems that everybody has a hidden purpose and you can never know for sure whether the smile is real or fake.
I guess I am not the only one wondering if the "friend" is a true friend or ... he's just pretending and you are waiting for the right time to see what he really wants from you. People are like this and it gets very difficult to relate. For me it is very difficult to relate! I do have my friends, and I am sure that they are my friends - but for the rest of the people I know, I am still waiting to see what they want from me. Some have great expectation, some not so great. But they all expect something. I am not sure I will raise to their expectations, they might get disappointed - I am sure it's a risk they are willing to take! Their other option would be to "solve the problem" on their own.
I keep telling my friends that I have reached a limit and I cannot make any more friends. I have enough! If I meet people it's just because I had to! I do not know if this is a very healthy reaction or attitude, but I am tired to try to please the others - nobody is trying to please me. Sometime I think it is better on my own - but it isn't. We need the others, our friends.But all this process of getting in that place where you can say "we are friends now" it is too damn difficult, complicated, that I am not sure I am willing to try again. For now I am perfectly fine with my "already" friends. They proved to be very good friends, both in good and in bad!
For all of you who have just met me... I am sorry if I am not as available as you'd like me to, but
I AM BROKEN!