Şi pentru că mi se părea absurd să nu poţi dormi, oricum, oricunde. Voila!!! Insomnie din nou!
Am un obicei. E unul din obiceiurile vechi pe care nu insist sa-l schimb (am altele care ar putea urca în cap de listă): când sunt pe stradă obişnuiesc să studiez oamenii pe lângă care trec. Dintr-o singură privire poţi primi o lecţie de viaţă.
Vreau să vă "arat" şi vouă două din imaginile ce îmi vor rămâne mereu întipărite în minte:
1. Dimineaţa, prea devreme pentru mine, zăpadă mare, frig. Un 46B prea aglomerat şi eu lipită de geam. Exact locul meu preferat. Urcând Calea Turzii trecem pe lângă cimitir. La unul din morminte, un bătrân de mână cu un copil! Efectiv am rămas fără cuvinte - mintea mea nu putea procesa informaţiile primite din exterior. Era nici 8 dimineaţa, un frig de crăpau şi pietrele. Ce căuta acolo un bătrân cu un copil?
Nu ştiu. Dar mi-am spus că trebuie să fi fost o persoană tare specială ...
2. În drum spre muncă, din nou un troleu mai plin decât mi-ar fi plăcut mie. La o trecere de pietoni un bătrânel sprinten traversa de zor. La un moment dat s-a oprit şi s-a întors. În spatele lui agale, venea o bătrânică. Bătrânelul s-a apropiat de ea şi a luat-o de mână. Împreună, în pas de plimbare, au traversat strada (spre enervarea şoferilor din trafic!!!) Pentru ei ... nu mai era nicio grabă!
Inevitabil mă gândesc că lumea ar fi un loc mult mai bun dacă fiecare am avea pe cineva care să ne ia de mână când ne e greu!
Sunt convinsă că mulţi aţi surprins asemenea imagini. Înţelept ar fi să tragem o învăţătură şi să mergem mai departe! O noapte bună vă doresc!
luni, 29 august 2011
miercuri, 24 august 2011
Usual - Dreams
We live our day by day life trying to keep out all the unexpected. We make plans, we write down schedules, we keep an eye on the clock. Up in the morning same time, quick ride to the office, end of the day ... maybe a movie or a chat with a friend. That's it!
What happened to all the dreams as kids? What happened to flying to the moon, or becoming a famous doctor/lawyer/actor/writer? What happened to your "TO DO LIST"? I remember when I was in college (and I know this sounds veeeeeeeeery old - so I might just as well change it to "few years ago") me and the girls I was living with had a TO DO LIST stuck on the fridge. Just stuff like: going to the theater, visiting some city we've never been to, attending a lawsuit, dressing like Arabic women and others. But this list remind us every day that we need to do something exciting with our lives.
Youth is said to be daring. We should always have a TO DO LIST out of the ordinary. We cannot live our lives just like usual!
Life it's pretty extraordinary.
Unfortunately, my TO DO LIST of today is: GET HOME, GO TO BED! - sad, I know. But I still have dreams. I still think I can read all the books I want, listen to all the music I gathered in my computer, take all the walks (although I am not a walking-kind of a person), visit all those places ... I still hope I can do something amazing with my life.
I guess I didn't put down on paper all my dreams ... because once on a TO DO LIST I would have to push myself further on to fulfill my dreams. And what if I don't make it? What if I betray my dream and let myself down? :)
I used to be optimistic. I used to think that I can do whatever I wanted! I might just as well write down that TO DO LIST and every day I see it I will remember that LIFE IS EXTRAORDINARY and you can only live once!
And on another hand, AMAZING things are ready to happen to whoever dares and steps outside the comfort line!
What happened to all the dreams as kids? What happened to flying to the moon, or becoming a famous doctor/lawyer/actor/writer? What happened to your "TO DO LIST"? I remember when I was in college (and I know this sounds veeeeeeeeery old - so I might just as well change it to "few years ago") me and the girls I was living with had a TO DO LIST stuck on the fridge. Just stuff like: going to the theater, visiting some city we've never been to, attending a lawsuit, dressing like Arabic women and others. But this list remind us every day that we need to do something exciting with our lives.
Youth is said to be daring. We should always have a TO DO LIST out of the ordinary. We cannot live our lives just like usual!
Life it's pretty extraordinary.
Unfortunately, my TO DO LIST of today is: GET HOME, GO TO BED! - sad, I know. But I still have dreams. I still think I can read all the books I want, listen to all the music I gathered in my computer, take all the walks (although I am not a walking-kind of a person), visit all those places ... I still hope I can do something amazing with my life.
I guess I didn't put down on paper all my dreams ... because once on a TO DO LIST I would have to push myself further on to fulfill my dreams. And what if I don't make it? What if I betray my dream and let myself down? :)
I used to be optimistic. I used to think that I can do whatever I wanted! I might just as well write down that TO DO LIST and every day I see it I will remember that LIFE IS EXTRAORDINARY and you can only live once!
And on another hand, AMAZING things are ready to happen to whoever dares and steps outside the comfort line!
sâmbătă, 23 iulie 2011
Ephemeral or Eternal?
Well I had to learn a tough lesson. I had to learn it for some time and all the signs were there, but it seemed easier to take the highway! Truth is people are the value. We are stubborn and we keep on gathering stuff that "make us happy" or maybe that are useful or maybe we just have a "hobby". We pay a lot to buy all these. We are ready to invest in an apartment, in a car, in a 2-week vacation to some end of the world place, in books or shoes or clothes or anything that is so material and ephemeral.
I kept planning to post our New Years resolutions. When stepping into this new year 2011, me and the friends gathered had some thoughts for this new beginning. And they were all so powerful and so of God... but one of them made me think a lot. My friend said that she was planing to put an etiquette with "EPHEMERAL" for all those material-non-important things and another etiquette with "ETERNAL" on humans. That was a brilliant plan. And I am so sure that if we had done that so far our life would've been a little happier, no remorse.
I, on the other hand, got caught in this race for wealth and material gains. I lost track of the humans near me. I forgot to be kind, and nice, and thoughtful. I became more and more bitter and unfriendly. I was told that bitterness keeps people away - somehow like a bad smell. The thing is we lose people. Sometimes we lose them with no possibility to get them back. What we had done by that point will remain. Nothing else matters. Of all people, I can say that humans are not trustworthy, but we need to do our best, we need to build bridges where there are none. Otherwise we're just gonna be alone and all the material things we gather so greedy would not make us happier.
We are so human, so proudling assuming that we're gonna live forever. The problem is that we are right. We ARE gonna live forever... but not the way we are imagining it.
I kept planning to post our New Years resolutions. When stepping into this new year 2011, me and the friends gathered had some thoughts for this new beginning. And they were all so powerful and so of God... but one of them made me think a lot. My friend said that she was planing to put an etiquette with "EPHEMERAL" for all those material-non-important things and another etiquette with "ETERNAL" on humans. That was a brilliant plan. And I am so sure that if we had done that so far our life would've been a little happier, no remorse.
I, on the other hand, got caught in this race for wealth and material gains. I lost track of the humans near me. I forgot to be kind, and nice, and thoughtful. I became more and more bitter and unfriendly. I was told that bitterness keeps people away - somehow like a bad smell. The thing is we lose people. Sometimes we lose them with no possibility to get them back. What we had done by that point will remain. Nothing else matters. Of all people, I can say that humans are not trustworthy, but we need to do our best, we need to build bridges where there are none. Otherwise we're just gonna be alone and all the material things we gather so greedy would not make us happier.
We are so human, so proudling assuming that we're gonna live forever. The problem is that we are right. We ARE gonna live forever... but not the way we are imagining it.
miercuri, 13 iulie 2011
La multi ani, mami!
Adevărul e că a trecut ceva timp de când nu am mai aşternut pe "hârtie" gândurile, impresiile, luptele, frustrările ... dar AZI e diferit! AZI nu e o zi ca oricare alta. Pentru unii e zi cu ghinion. Pentru alţii e doar o altă zi. Pentru cei care muncesc e miercuri - o zi ce marchează mijlocul săptămânii (sau încă două zile până la weekend).
Pentru mine şi ai mei azi e 13 IULIE ... ziua mamei mele. Cum aş putea să nu scriu? Când cele mai bune lucruri în viaţă mi s-au întâmplat datorită ei?
Mami, nu o să pot să îţi exprim vreodată în cuvinte ce însemni pentru mine. Şi azi, de ziua ta, mă rog ca Dumnezeu să îţi dăruiască tot ce crede El mai bun!
Îţi doresc o viaţă plină de bucurii! TE IUBESC!
Pentru mine şi ai mei azi e 13 IULIE ... ziua mamei mele. Cum aş putea să nu scriu? Când cele mai bune lucruri în viaţă mi s-au întâmplat datorită ei?
Mami, nu o să pot să îţi exprim vreodată în cuvinte ce însemni pentru mine. Şi azi, de ziua ta, mă rog ca Dumnezeu să îţi dăruiască tot ce crede El mai bun!
Îţi doresc o viaţă plină de bucurii! TE IUBESC!
vineri, 3 iunie 2011
Old-fashioned-open-minded
One of these last days, when listening to one of the Andre Rieu's concerts, I surprised myself enjoying it a little too much. I am in my 20's and looking to what people in their 20's listen ... I found myself out of place. I hate the music playing today, and it feels like there are not many thinking like I do.
I enjoy a lot a good book and classical music and I do prefer reading the book rather than seeing the movie. It's old-fashioned, I know! But I think that there are more possibilities of "having fun" when you're old-fashioned! I also know that everyone around you will laugh at you and maybe they'll say you are crazy, but your "moment of happiness" will not last until you get sober. It's the kind of happiness that makes you feel good about yourself and pushes you to go further when you think you've touched your limits!
When we were kids, or even adolescents, we were told very often that after some time we won't care if the others like us or not, we won't try so hard to be someone we aren't. And it is true! During the high school, even if we didn't have the American style high school, we did have the popular, the beauty, the nerds, the cool, the dangerous etc. Maybe we tried hard to be someone we weren't, or maybe we've done things we are not proud of just to please one group of the other ... but by the end of high school we were all on our own!
We're not in high school anymore! It's no shame to admit you like reading or that you like classical music ...or that you play chess! Because the standards you are up against now are so much different then those in high school!
So, what? I am old-fashioned in a very, very up to speed age! Who says I'm not open-minded as well?
I enjoy a lot a good book and classical music and I do prefer reading the book rather than seeing the movie. It's old-fashioned, I know! But I think that there are more possibilities of "having fun" when you're old-fashioned! I also know that everyone around you will laugh at you and maybe they'll say you are crazy, but your "moment of happiness" will not last until you get sober. It's the kind of happiness that makes you feel good about yourself and pushes you to go further when you think you've touched your limits!
When we were kids, or even adolescents, we were told very often that after some time we won't care if the others like us or not, we won't try so hard to be someone we aren't. And it is true! During the high school, even if we didn't have the American style high school, we did have the popular, the beauty, the nerds, the cool, the dangerous etc. Maybe we tried hard to be someone we weren't, or maybe we've done things we are not proud of just to please one group of the other ... but by the end of high school we were all on our own!
We're not in high school anymore! It's no shame to admit you like reading or that you like classical music ...or that you play chess! Because the standards you are up against now are so much different then those in high school!
So, what? I am old-fashioned in a very, very up to speed age! Who says I'm not open-minded as well?
duminică, 1 mai 2011
Eu
Îmi place: să citesc, să merg la teatru şi la operă, iarna, să merg la patine, să mă plimb în zăpadă, să ascult muzică, culoarea verde, Argentina, Egipt, China, Rusia, arhitectura veche, geografia, jucăriile de pluş, tot ce ţine de al doilea război mondial, povestea ţarului Nicolae al II lea, Heroes, patinajul artisic, fotbalul, mongolian beef, blugii, suedeza, franceza şi limbile orientale, pianul şi vioara, Coca-Cola, genţile mari cu multe buzunare, să dorm, să notez citatele care mă impresionează, să râd, să studiez despre bolile mintale, 24, dexter, să mă uit la filme, poezia (în special George Coşbuc), sinceritatea şi corectitudinea, punctualitatea, adevărul, dreptatea, pacea, marea, peisajele pitoreşti, să mă întâlnesc cu rudele şi prietenii mei, să îmi decorez locuinţa cum vreau eu, să pierd vremea, laptopul meu, pătuţul meu cu etaj din copilărie (care nu mai există ), pătura de treabă, ciocolata, să fac baie cu spume, Dove, Ralph Lauren, Brad Pitt (ursuleţul meu primit cadou de la colegele de apartament), să fiu veselă, GAP, noaptea şi dimineaţa, Crăciunul şi Anul Nou, părul negru, mobila artistică, să scriu, conopida murată, Tommy Hilfiger, maşinile de teren, cănuţa mea cu Merry Christmas, Pigeon, Law School ...
... and this is only the beginning!
... and this is only the beginning!
marți, 29 martie 2011
Colour ...
We talk about colour and normally colour is what gives another view to our world. We really need to admit that black&white wouldn’t have made such a great combination when talking about world! But (and here comes the first big BUT of this story), colour is what makes the differences. I did not say the difference, but the differences! We got to look to the colour of our skin, to the colour of our money, to the colour of our intellect, to the colour of our political views. The greatest barrier ever was created by colours!
For centuries people have tried to push or even eliminate these differences given by our colour. Still we are marked forever by our colour. As hard as we try, we are always white or black, poor or rich, smart or less equipped, republican, democrat or any other political view. This entire society is ruled by the colours.
But (this is my second BUT of the story), even worst then letting ourselves driven by colours in this society is that we let colours drive us inside the Church. Church is supposed to be the Body of Jesus Christ. Church is supposed to be neutral, same for everyone regardless the colour of the skin, the political view, the height on the social ladder. We are all equals in front of the throne of Jesus...
This is how it should be, and for our parents and grandparents life was like this. For us, things have changed just a little bit. We live those days when we think we can buy our place in the church. We think that our political or social status can help us – when speaking about the salvation of our soul. I hate that we got to this! I hate that we cannot be simple and transparent. I hate that we got to fight over the colour of our Jesus.
Let me remember you: Jesus was neither white, nor black, neither rich, nor poor, neither republican, nor democrat ... He was, He is, He will always be the only way to be saved! We can stay and fight, we can try to buy the comfortable seat, we can pretend we are holy, we can walk as we were saints... but all this is nothing if we do not forget about colours and just let Jesus see Himself in our lives!
Jesus has no colour!
http://tineripentruhristos.blogspot.com/p/english.html
For centuries people have tried to push or even eliminate these differences given by our colour. Still we are marked forever by our colour. As hard as we try, we are always white or black, poor or rich, smart or less equipped, republican, democrat or any other political view. This entire society is ruled by the colours.
But (this is my second BUT of the story), even worst then letting ourselves driven by colours in this society is that we let colours drive us inside the Church. Church is supposed to be the Body of Jesus Christ. Church is supposed to be neutral, same for everyone regardless the colour of the skin, the political view, the height on the social ladder. We are all equals in front of the throne of Jesus...
This is how it should be, and for our parents and grandparents life was like this. For us, things have changed just a little bit. We live those days when we think we can buy our place in the church. We think that our political or social status can help us – when speaking about the salvation of our soul. I hate that we got to this! I hate that we cannot be simple and transparent. I hate that we got to fight over the colour of our Jesus.
Let me remember you: Jesus was neither white, nor black, neither rich, nor poor, neither republican, nor democrat ... He was, He is, He will always be the only way to be saved! We can stay and fight, we can try to buy the comfortable seat, we can pretend we are holy, we can walk as we were saints... but all this is nothing if we do not forget about colours and just let Jesus see Himself in our lives!
Jesus has no colour!
http://tineripentruhristos.blogspot.com/p/english.html
joi, 24 februarie 2011
Poveşti ...
Am crescut crezând în basme.
Am crescut crezând în bine şi rău ... dar mai ales că în final, după multe probe, binele învinge. Prea puţine erau poveştile în care ieşea biruitor răul. Am crezut.
Am crezut de-asemenea că deşi apar obstacole în drum totdeauna eroul principal găseşte ajutor (asta datorită bunătăţii şi curajului său) şi reuşeşte să treacă peste orice. În final, eroul principal învaţă câte o lecţie din fiecare piedică, luptă şi găseşte iubirea adevărată....şi
TRĂIESC FERICIŢI PÂNĂ LA ADÂNCI BĂTRÂNEŢI!
Toate poveştile copilăriei au fost la fel. Micile diferenţe nu schimbau cu nimic cursul de bază al poveştii. Că era zmeu, sau balaur, sau lup flămând ... sau poate Ileana Cosânzeana, Găinăreasca, Scufiţa Roşie, Frumoasa din pădurea adormită ... în final povestea mea se termina la fel.
Crescând am învăţat că lumea reală e diferită de cea din poveştile mele! Eroul principal nu e nici pe departe atât de bine echipat, ajutorul nu vine totdeauna la fix, probele sunt (unele!) cu mult mai grele decât s-ar fi aşteptat... Făt-Frumos şi Ileana Cosânzeana nu există! Cât despre "fericiţi până la adânci bătrâneţi" e aproape o ironie când moartea seceră în stânga şi dreapta indiferent de vârstă!
De cele mai multe ori eşti pe cont propriu. De cele mai multe ori singurul ajutor ce-ţi vine nu e nicidecum din partea oamenilor. De cele mai multe ori cei de lângă tine sunt fie la fel de neputincioşi ca tine, fie ... sunt cei care aşteaptă să cazi pentru a trage un folos din căderea ta.
Când se întâmplă toate acestea nu ai cum să nu te opreşti din alergarea ta şi să nu te întrebi ce-i cu toate aceste poveşti care ne-au hrănit pe noi copii fiind? Poveştile care ne-au inoculat ideea fericirii până la adânci bătrâneţi... când nu suntem siguri nici măcar pe momentul imediat următor.
Aş vrea să termin într-o notă optimistă. Aş vrea atât de mult să spun că răul nu poate dăinui veşnic şi că odată şi-odată se va termina cu răul... Aş vrea să spun toate astea, dar ...
Dar de ce nu? ODATĂ ŞI-ODATĂ SE VA SFÂRŞI CU RĂUL, ÎN FINAL BINELE BIRUIE!
ÎNTOTDEAUNA!
Am crescut crezând în bine şi rău ... dar mai ales că în final, după multe probe, binele învinge. Prea puţine erau poveştile în care ieşea biruitor răul. Am crezut.
Am crezut de-asemenea că deşi apar obstacole în drum totdeauna eroul principal găseşte ajutor (asta datorită bunătăţii şi curajului său) şi reuşeşte să treacă peste orice. În final, eroul principal învaţă câte o lecţie din fiecare piedică, luptă şi găseşte iubirea adevărată....şi
TRĂIESC FERICIŢI PÂNĂ LA ADÂNCI BĂTRÂNEŢI!
Toate poveştile copilăriei au fost la fel. Micile diferenţe nu schimbau cu nimic cursul de bază al poveştii. Că era zmeu, sau balaur, sau lup flămând ... sau poate Ileana Cosânzeana, Găinăreasca, Scufiţa Roşie, Frumoasa din pădurea adormită ... în final povestea mea se termina la fel.
Crescând am învăţat că lumea reală e diferită de cea din poveştile mele! Eroul principal nu e nici pe departe atât de bine echipat, ajutorul nu vine totdeauna la fix, probele sunt (unele!) cu mult mai grele decât s-ar fi aşteptat... Făt-Frumos şi Ileana Cosânzeana nu există! Cât despre "fericiţi până la adânci bătrâneţi" e aproape o ironie când moartea seceră în stânga şi dreapta indiferent de vârstă!
De cele mai multe ori eşti pe cont propriu. De cele mai multe ori singurul ajutor ce-ţi vine nu e nicidecum din partea oamenilor. De cele mai multe ori cei de lângă tine sunt fie la fel de neputincioşi ca tine, fie ... sunt cei care aşteaptă să cazi pentru a trage un folos din căderea ta.
Când se întâmplă toate acestea nu ai cum să nu te opreşti din alergarea ta şi să nu te întrebi ce-i cu toate aceste poveşti care ne-au hrănit pe noi copii fiind? Poveştile care ne-au inoculat ideea fericirii până la adânci bătrâneţi... când nu suntem siguri nici măcar pe momentul imediat următor.
Aş vrea să termin într-o notă optimistă. Aş vrea atât de mult să spun că răul nu poate dăinui veşnic şi că odată şi-odată se va termina cu răul... Aş vrea să spun toate astea, dar ...
Dar de ce nu? ODATĂ ŞI-ODATĂ SE VA SFÂRŞI CU RĂUL, ÎN FINAL BINELE BIRUIE!
ÎNTOTDEAUNA!
marți, 22 februarie 2011
wishful thinking ...
And I am back at wishful thinking. I have to admit ... all dark&twisted is taking lot of energy and I am running out. I just decided that maybe it could be helpful for a while to go with wishful thinking.
I am no good at that. No good at all! Actually I don't really know how to get started. All I know is that I need to look forward and hope for the best. It could happen! Good things could happen if you want them bad enough, isn't it?
Even if they don't happen - the good things - I try to make myself believe that wishful thinking could be a great medicine.
Medicine ... that's only if you're sick!
I am no good at that. No good at all! Actually I don't really know how to get started. All I know is that I need to look forward and hope for the best. It could happen! Good things could happen if you want them bad enough, isn't it?
Even if they don't happen - the good things - I try to make myself believe that wishful thinking could be a great medicine.
Medicine ... that's only if you're sick!
miercuri, 2 februarie 2011
Weakness
I don't like when people talk about my weaknesses. I don't like when I am asked about my weaknesses. We've all been there, the moment when the employer-to-be asked about the greatest weakness. We avoided the answer ... we tried to be funny by saying we have no weakness - the truth is talking about our weakness is a weakness itself.
We all have weaknesses. Some call them the Achilles' heel, some say they might have a blind spot... but the bottom line is that we're full of weak points. We try to hide them. We try to forget about them (not the brightest idea, but still I try to do that myself). Sometimes we imagine that if we don't talk about them or if we don't try to correct them they will disappear ... just like that!
Admitting we have weaknesses is the first step ahead. Taking care of our weakness is maybe the second. There's only one thing I know for sure: one weak heel was enough to kill Achilles!
We all have weaknesses. Some call them the Achilles' heel, some say they might have a blind spot... but the bottom line is that we're full of weak points. We try to hide them. We try to forget about them (not the brightest idea, but still I try to do that myself). Sometimes we imagine that if we don't talk about them or if we don't try to correct them they will disappear ... just like that!
Admitting we have weaknesses is the first step ahead. Taking care of our weakness is maybe the second. There's only one thing I know for sure: one weak heel was enough to kill Achilles!
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